Midnight Dreams

It is not the unknown that scares me, it is what is beyond my control
It is not the dark I fear, it is the emptiness
It is not doubt that weakens, it is the anticipation

New Year's Post

"The best government is one that governs the least" (Thoreau) is a principle that most people realize sooner or later rendering their respective governments useless. Kings have known this for a long time and hence expansion of borders and extolling the rulers glory was the main task of government. Governments have realized that they can increase their powers when there is a real or perceived threat to the existence of the nation. This leads them to create issues where none exist like "War on Poverty" and "War on Drugs" (well the former is a noble pursuit). In modern times, this realization dawned upon the new ruling class with the War Commissions, and propaganda/fear as the means of continuation of power. Thus began futile endeavors like the Cold War, Vietnam, drugs, rock, porn, terrorists and as we moved into the new millennium they became downright ridiculous from Afghanistan to Iraq and now capitalism.

A new decade ushers in new possibilities and the next restrictions on our freedom...

Disclaimer: Nonsense going on in my head. Not to be taken seriously. I am not taking any responsibility for these thoughts.

Obamaman the Hypocrite

Obamaman is taking hypocracy to US soverign debt levels. He wages 2 wars and declares himself the Commander-in-Chief of the greatest army on the face of the world - and accepts the Nobel Peace prize. Pulled out the army from Iraq and put more troops in Afghanistan. And now he says that he is not helping out a bunch of "fat cat bankers"! Yes Mr. President, give banks free money and expect them to sit on it. Very intelligent. You are either totally clueless about finance and economics or you are just going around gassing "Yes we can".

If the free economy had been allowed to run its course, we would have fewer but stronger banks and probably another year of recession. In my opinion, the global economy can not take any more of Ben Bernanke's Keynesianism. He should be replaced by Volker or Galbriath or Stilgitz: people who can think beyond their PhD thesis.

As always, TED puts the thought in a better perspective.

A Dog's Life

As I was walking home from work today, I saw this beautiful dog sitting on the street. On any other day I would not have touched him with a 5-foot pole. But today, I stopped to pet him. A couple of seconds later, he let out a bark which I took as my cue to leave and sure enough 2 bitches ran over to him.

And I thought to myself....it would be good to be him at the moment!

Gandhi and Capitalism

Following up from the previous post and the post in reply: Gandhi was in principle against modernization. He chose to reject the West. His vision was in terms of village republics, each as self-sufficient as possible. And somehow factors of production were to be held in a trust rather than owned for private gains. He believed that there was such an ideal India some time in the past and that an independent India would revive such a true village.

Agriculture when optimized, will not employ more than 10% of India's population directly. Currently it employs 58%. Capitalism is currently the only guarantee for the removal of poverty. The problem with capitalism is that it progresses through periods of unstable equilibria like the last two years searching for an optimized solution. Upheavals create new industries and banish the old. Capitalism grows through these downturns. This risk scares politicians. It was the desire to prevent such uncertainties which led our leaders to choose the Soviet model. Gandhi on the other hand believed in contentment and no trade. He also believed in population controlled by self-abdication; self-avoidance, and therefore he did not worry about the population problem and how it would support a growing populations through village republics.

It is fortunate that Nehru took over from Gandhi. He believed in steel, in cars and power. Gandhi's economic thinking in no way lessens his contribution to India's cause. Rather, we should recognize that he was no Hayek, just a lawyer and our leader. The fact that caste and regional politics are so prevalent in India are a sign of the flourishing of our democracy where all opinions are heard and diversity allowed to flourish. That will be his contribution to a free India.

Leaders and Democracy

A piece written by a friend recently pulled me into thinking about leaders and how they shape history. Obviously, the discussion started with Hitler and ended with Gandhi. Hitler attained demi-god status in Germany combining a potent mix of socio-economic hardship and nationalistic frevor in the aftermath of the Treaty of Versailles. Gandhi, surprisingly exploited very similar conditions in India.

What is interesting to note is how similar in character the two leaders are leaving aside the anti-semitism and non-violence which seals their places in history. Both were driven by a notion of the ideal society. Both saw in themselves the savior of their nations. Both considered themselves bigger than the whole. Hitler led his country into a dictatorship, democracy in India though is not a Gandhian legacy. If Gandhi had is way, India would probably be a collection of medevial city-states living in the stone age. Democracy in India was bred and nurtured by the early leaders of Congress. If anything Gandhi was the only leader who undermined the democratic structure of the Congress. He behaved like a petulant child. If he did not have his way, he took to fasting rather than dialogue. Bose, who had the support of the majorty of Congress members, defeating Gandhi's candidate, Sitaramayya in the 1939 Congress meeting was forced to resign due to differences in opinion with Gandhi.

Democracy in India is the legacy of a much maligned idealist. Nehru did not have the ego of Gandhi. He believed in the democratic process and held elections for the presidency of the Congress regularly even though he was their undisputed leader. It was probably his influence that made Indira Gandhi end the emergency and call for elections. That is merely a hypothesis.

The question that arises is why aren't democratic institutions able to oust leaders who subvert the will of the majority? Is it an inherent flaw of human nature or of the concept?

Life's a Bitch

Life is a bitch: Observations

• Time: Just when I thought I will have loads of free time in office, a deluge of stuff comes up. The timing could not be more perfect.
• People: I always wanted a gay friend (just for diversity). I did not ask for a gay roommate and an addict to boot.

Champignons a la Tomate

I came home early today so that I could catch up with some sleep after 2 days of Champions League football; ended up cooking mushroom of all things. I haven't cooked since I burnt my hand and this is the first time I have experimented with vegetarian food and voilà we have "Champignons a la Tomate". Not bad at all! Though I'm sure I can not replicate the dish ever again.

My guide to beginners, myself included:

1. Keep cellphone handy. You will need to call your mom every two minutes.
2. Pepper can make anything taste good.
3. Never taste your own food. Always have lab rats on stand-by.

In other news of the world, the great messiah of change is at it again: The worst bill ever. I'd rather have a vampire squid as the leader of the free world than someone who has no notion of a balanced budget. I am ignoring his handling of the financial markets and Iraq/Afghanistan.

Mr. Obama, too much debt => Iceland (if you have forgotten)

A la Dsen:

I'll keep my religion, my guns, my liberty and my money. You can keep your ******** CHANGE.

The City of Raj

Raj Thackeray has managed to win 13 assembly seats in this month's elections. In doing so, he has proved that there still is much juice left in the "son of the soil" campaign launched by his uncle 40 years ago. In those 40 years, the influx of outsiders has continued unabated. The city which always had a marathi minority has seen a decline in their percentage. Renaming the city and all its landmarks has not changed the essence of the city. After being expelled from the Shiv Sena, the son of the soil has risen from night soil to rid the maximum city of the "bhaiyas".

Raj being a smart man will know that he can not do better than the 13 seats while he has no development policy to speak of. He can never muster a majority in Bombay where only 30% of the residents are Marathi and the hinterland where immigration is a moot issue. One hopes that if and when MNS gains power, it would have temperered its position like Bal Thackarey did in 1988; joining the hinduvta bandwagon.

Raj Thackery will know that the outsiders flourish and will continue to do so because they are willing to work harder. Calcutta being a prime example of a city where no one wants to work and no immigrants to pick up the slack. The city has gone from India's first city to one on its death-bed, plagued by an arrogance that should have long disappeared. He will also know that it is easier to talk about a Maratha homeland than to improve it. The improvement of the Marathi lot will require a change in the mindset which is easier said than done.

India prides itself in its ability to assimilate foreign people and cultures, be it the Aryans, the Kushans or the Mughals. But that seems to be a trait lost on the marathi manoos. Today, we retreat to our lives knowing that the Congress is in power, living as persecuted citizens of Bombay under the shadow of Mumbai.

MBA Essays

I have learnt that the best writing comes from the heart and on an MBA application essays you can not fake it. Or atleast I can not fake it. I wrote the essays for School A and on reviewing felt it was full of s**t. I did not believe half of it. With this realization came the next step: introspection, rethinking of goals, aspirations and why School A. I had to dig out every minor work I did which showed the qualities the school looks for. Finally, four drafts later with the deadline looming, I have the finished article without an iota of overstating the importance or inventing stuff I did not do.

On to the next deadline, "How have the changes in the global economy affected you and your plan for the future?". Miniscule bonus period! Neither have my goals changed nor my perception. I am still the insensitive staunch extreme right libertarian capitalist pig I was two years ago. Which implies I have 397 words to go and 22 days to come up with them.

A very Foul Friday

I burnt my right hand. All five fingers. The misfortune of living in a bachelor pad is that there is never any ice unless you have planned to drink at home. This time there was no cold water either. So here I was left standing in my kitchen with my hand in the freezer, all plans cancelled and unable to take trips longer than 10 seconds.

Normally, I prefer to keep away from medicines, but this was unbearable, so I gulped one nimisulide which is usually enough to numb the pain for a whole evening. An hour later, nothing. So I took another one. After 5 capsules I threw the strip to prevent myself from having more. This is where one's knowledge of drugs comes in handy. Wine and cocaine (xylo-cocaine)! One to knock me out and the latter as a local anesthetic. Five hours after the burn I still could not bear to take my hand out of the freezer. @#$&, There are side effects of having such a tuned body, even drugs don't have their intended effect. Consigned to sleeping by the refriginator, I made myself comfortable in a chair, one hand in freezer, a glass of wine (it took me 15 minutes to open the bottle using my mouth and left hand), pack of cigarettes (learnt to light a match with 1 hand) and "Inspite of the Gods". Finally finished the book, awesome book btw. The best part being the lively ending anecdote of the author and a 10 year old sikh boy.

Fortunately, Saturday and Sunday were better days, though my right hand is laid to waste and I could not type 1 word of the essays I was supposed to finish. I have the use of my middle finger back, which means flipping the finger is now possible.

Sonnet 116 - Master William

Let me not to the marriage of true minds 
Admit impediments. Love is not love 
Which alters when it alteration finds, 
Or bends with the remover to remove:
 O no! it is an ever-fixed mark 
That looks on tempests and is never shaken; 
It is the star to every wandering bark, 
Whose worth's unknown, although his height be taken. 
Love's not Time's fool, though rosy lips and cheeks 
Within his bending sickle's compass come: 
Love alters not with his brief hours and weeks, 
But bears it out even to the edge of doom. 
If this be error and upon me proved, 
I never writ, nor no man ever loved.

The Partnership

About a month ago while in my boss's cabin for a conference call, I somehow gathered the audacity of asking to borrow the book he was reading "The Partnership: A History of Goldman Sachs". A decent read. So, I went to return the book to him today and as is practice we started talking about the book and practices at Goldman, he being an ex-GS took pride in it. At the end of it I was asked to write a one page summary of the book. No amount of verbal strafing could get me out of it.

Now, I have never ever tried to review a book, nor do I think compression technologies have become so advanced as to be able to compress 700 pages into one. As I am supposed to leave for Benaras tomorrow, I decided to finish this tonight. I know this will neither do justice to the firm nor the book but here goes:

How did Goldman Sachs become the premier firm on the Wall Street, revered by budding bankers and respected by seasoned ones? The book did not endeavor to answer this question, but to tell the story of its ascension to the top. Starting out with Marcus Goldman and its humble beginnings selling commercial paper to underwriting deals which premier financers of the time JP Morgan and George Baker called “Jewish Enterprise” and would not touch, Goldman slowly made its path to the top. As a competitor once described “They are driven. On this they are consistent and unrelenting”.

The book traces the leaders of the firm and how each left his indelible mark on the firm. Sidney Weinberg who used his wide network of friends at the War Commission to gain investment banking clients for the firm to Gus Levy and his aggressive selling to clients and insistence that Goldman Sachs be part of every major transaction on the floor. After these two, the ascension of John Weinberg and John Whitehead would put into practice one of the most highly valued qualities at Goldman; teamwork.

It is the culture of Goldman Sachs that differentiates it from the rest of the investment banking community. Set in stone by John Whitehead, the 14 principles form the basis of its culture while the 10 commandments form its ethical boundaries. Success starts with hiring the right people, people who fit into the vision of the company. The common factors in most Goldman employees sound like the summary of a self help book but they devote considerable time to hiring and the results do not lie. Ambition is paramount, humility or at least the appearance of it is important, teamwork is highly valued and they all share a tenacity that binds them. Employees come to the office earlier than at other firms because they want to be there. The firm is their first love. John Whitehead, recognizing the importance of hiring the best people, was the first Wall Street leader to hire MBAs straight out of college as client representatives and himself frequented Harvard to seek out the best talent. Each hiring had to go through numerous interviews so that every partner could judge the candidate for himself and the candidate came to know the firm.

Retention is equally important. Goldman Sachs was structured as a meritocracy. If you showed ability, you would be given a chance to excel. As part of its push to expand globally, GS sent its most talented young employees to Europe to set up operations. As Robert Rubin once told Frank Brosens “If you do right by the people, they win and you win. Always go out of your way to share credit.” Delegation is a major part of leadership. Every task delegated is an opportunity for the younger people to excel at GS.

Being a partnership till 1999, the partners always looked at the long haul and took each decision with total conviction. Being smart people, they also made mistakes with conviction. Not always was the picture so rosy. GS had numerous failures while it tried to establish itself, most notably, GS Trading Corporation, Penn Central, dealings with Robert Maxwell and the turmoil following Steve Friedman’s departure soon after Robert Rubin quit, taking up the position of Treasury Secretary. Goldman Sachs learned from each mistake and instituted processes and checks whereby, such mistakes would not be repeated. This being the hallmark of not only a great individual but also of a great firm.

So what gives Goldman its edge?

Lost Soul in Bombay

This weekend, after a long time, I sat on the sidewalk at Nariman Point and stared at the sea. The view in front and the skyscrapers behind have always inspired me. It is where I found peace everyday after markets closed. It is where I have enjoyed Bombay the most.

By day, the street is choked with smoke and the footpath crumbles under the weight of a million aspirations. The sun ravages and the humidity dampens the soul. The street is littered with paper, garbage dust and the strivings of a nation. Yet, you can always find a lost soul in the middle of all the bustle, gazing into the west for inspiration, company, clarity and hope.

By the time the sun sets, beauty takes over. A gentle breeze clears the smoke and the waves calm the heat, people slow down to admire the sun as it bids farewell. The crowd sits down in silence; friends, colleagues and lovers as the day draws to a close. As darkness descends, it covers the litter. The glittering towers and neon beam across the ocean, a beacon to the world of the rising of a billion Indians.

Though a lot may be said of the appaling conditions of the city. For the millions that call it home, it remains amchi mumbai.

La Liga - Preview

Mad activity in the transfer market which saw Florentino Perez splash out 130m pounds on Kaka, CR7 and others puts them in pole position to emulate Barca's treble last season. The results will however depend on how Manuel Pellegrini is able to deploy the wealth of talent he has at his disposal. The only problem with the current squad appears to be the defence where Sergio Ramos is the only man of galacticos calibre. This guy is poised to be as good as Il Captino. Hopefully, Pellegrini can implement his brand of attacking football on this squad as he did at Villarreal. Real is going to be a pleasure to watch this season.

Though no one will question Pep in light of his first season in-charge of the Catalans, his market activity has disappointed me. He has in essence paid too much for Zaltan and given away a much better striker. There is no doubt of Ibra's ability and skill. But, I believe that Eto was much better, knew the system and how do you let your top scorer go to buy another (unless you are Arsene and have others to take over)!!! I am hoping Bojan and Busquets will step up this season and begin to fulfill their enormous potential. Just like Real, Barca too seem frail at the back. The bid for Johnny Evans is an excellent move. Hopefully, Gabi Milito will return and provide some cover. It still is a formidable line-up, the only problem being the very high quality of their strating 11 leaves a lot to be desired for anyone else to move in.

Valencia have so far been able to hold on to their stars and their success depends on it. They along with Sevilla will be the teams that can step-up the pressure on the top two. It will be a brave man to bet against either Barca or Real to take the La Liga honors. Why do I care!

Blaugrana al vent

Un crit valent

Tenim un nom que el sap tothom

Barca Barca Barca!!!

Writer's Block

Do you have to be a writer to suffer from writer's block? Writer's block is defined as the loss of the ability to produce new work. I am not a writer and neither do I consider myself capable of being one. Though my inflated ego may believe that I have one crappy "Five Point Someone" in me somewhere. But, honestly I will never even get close. My writings in the past month have been random thoughts and ideas (sometime others') waiting to be explored but banished in the pages of my notepad. Never more than a couple of sentences, never more than whispers of what I want to scream aloud. The thoughts have piled on but not put into words or even a coherent stream of reasoning.

What is bothering me at this moment is that in the next two months I have to come up with reflections of the past 3 years and peek a into the next 20. All I have been able to gather is a detailed CV and a notion of chasing a dream which does not reveal itself. To top it all off, the stupid laptop crashed and erased the brief instances of clarity in which I was able to collect my thoughts.

I need new ideas, new thoughts and a sense of wonder. I need to meet new people to pick new brains. A new line of thought to take away this madness. I know these phases are momentary and will wane. But first, I shall go and see the new Harry Potter movie (I'm supposed to be a HP buff, how did this happen?).

PS: I edited the html code to get the format right! I did not know I could do that!

Age

You know you are getting older when:

1. You think for 2 minutes before jumping off the roof onto you balcony (approx. 12 feet)
2. Your friends think it was a stupid idea (they are getting old)
3. You did not nail the landing and hurt your knee/ankle (which is still sore after 3 days)

Oops, I did it again. Age and wisdom are two different things. Nailed the landing this time though!

Of Fucks and Fuck-ups

Life can be lived in two ways, by doing awesome or by not fucking up. In my long life, there have been years when I have done awesomely and there have been those which I dearly wish to relive differently or change completely. This year was meant to be one where I live by the second rule and not fuck up and the resulting worst case scenario would be good enough for the time. (essentially I an unable to see beyond my next meal, but in rare instances of clarity when the stars align or when I am PMSing, I see into the future). I was allowed 10 fuck ups this year and with half the year gone, here is the list:

1. CFA: will know in a couple of months, but the signs do not bear gracious news
2. GMAT: A Royal Fuck
3. *****: Missed this one completely. Did not know till it was gone!

The next seven have already been lined up. I just hope I get one of them right. Results awaited next year.

As can be seen, I am in one of those* moods.

Random Encounter of the Third Kind

On Sunday, after I dropped Daku at the bus stand, I headed to CCD to study as usual. Somehow I find it easier to study in a crowded place, the only condition being that all the noises interfere distructively and I am left with a buzz in the background. So here I was going over the finer points of pension accounting and occationally checking out the girls, unaware that one of them was sitting alone sipping coffee like me. How my bluetooth was on, I have no clue, but I received a message, which I did not read and promptly deleted. Next, I received a message with an image in it. This I chose to open and voila...

R: wtf???

H: Well, what are you doing alone?

R: That is not you concern and it seems it was not a mistake on your part to send the pic. ;-)

H: For 2000 bucks you could have a great evening.

R: I was thinking more like 200.

H: You must be dreaming! Your coffee is worth more than that.

R: Yes, but that is all I can afford and the value I choose to assign.

H: Ok, 1.5k

R: No, thanks. It seems you are young enough to be in college.

H: Yes, ********

R: Extra cash eh! tc, have fun.

And back I went to my PBO...

CL 2009

"For all his bluster, it is the sad providence of man that he cannot choose his
triumph. He can only choose how he will stand when the call of destiny comes.
Hoping that he'll have the courage to answer."

"There is a tide in the affairs of men. Which taken at the flood lead to fortune. Omitted, all the voyage of their life is bound in shallows and in miseries"

When in Rome do as the Catalonians. Go BARCA!!!